Comedy of Errors

Well what a Saturday it was last night! And here I thought it was just gonna be another one of the usual...

It started off the same as always, Chris and I went to Knox City for a little shopping...
I was wearing my 'stop-traffic' boots and a skirt that has now become a little too big even though mum had altered it once already (yay! I AM losing weight!), so I was looking damn hot (hehehe, ego? who, me??). I was telling Chris about these 'stop-traffic' boots, and how they are so magical, they actually can stop traffic, because it happened when I dressed like this for work. I had cars stop at EVERY intersection waiting for me to strut across the road. And yes, I did strut cos that's what you do in 'stop-traffic' boots. Strut. (I like that word, so I'm gonna say it one more time because I can, I strut across the road). He just laughed at me. I was wondering what was so funny to him, was it because I called them 'stop-traffic' boots? Or the fact that traffic actually stopped for my boots? Or worse, that he didn't believe in the magic of these 'stop-traffic' boots? Well, after this conversation we were just about the cross the road behind this girl and a car was speeding towards us, not looking like it was gonna stop for her, but you know what? The moment the driver saw my 'stop-traffic' boots, it stopped! Almost mowing down the girl in front of me, but leaving a good distance for me and Chris to cross safely to the other side of the street. Well, ok - I strutted across the road, while Chris walked :) See! I love my 'stop-traffic' boots. Why didn't I ever figure this out before? I would've worn a lot more skirts and boots :)

Anyways, we went back to Chris' for dinner as I hadn't seen his mum and aunty for quite some time and then after dinner Chris didn't feel well so he went to bed while I stayed up watching tv with Sue and Margaret, then it got late and Sue and Margaret went to bed as well so here I was, up late watching tv on my own at Chris' place while everyone was asleep - I did feel a little awkward, but what the hell.... I wasn't gonna stay the night, I didn't have anything with me, no hairbrush, no toothbrush, no change of clothes, no nothing, and Chris is a poor sleeper when he's sick so I didn't want to sleep next to that all night. I decided that if Chris wasn't up for it, I'd just take his car and drive myself home, it was unfair to ask Sue to drive me home, it would've been easier if I had just stayed the night of course.. anyways, I was probably half way home when I ran into some trouble - a flat tyre!

Who knows how long I was driving like that for before I realised the tyre was flat... by the time I realised something was wrong, the car was already going all funny and bumpy and was a little hard to steer... thankfully it was a quiet road... I figured this could only happen to me, I hardly ever have to drive, and the first time in ages that I'm driving on my own and this bloody thing happens! I didn't know who to call, should I call dad? It would be too hard to explain to dad where I was. And he might've been drinking, so I didn't want him driving if he had been drinking. Should I call Chris? But Chris was sick, and I wasn't sure if he would be able to come out to change a tyre for me. Should I call the RACV? I didn't know the number to call... and I wasn't sure if they would talk to me on the phone considering it wasn't my car? They probably would have... but yeah, you can see, I know jack-all about cars and stuff. I didn't even contemplate calling Kent.... perhaps I should have. It wouldn't have been such a long night.

I ended up calling Chris, and Sue drove him out, funny thing, he was feeling a whole lot better by now. Lazy bugger, a few hours sleep and the massive headache he had earlier magically disappeared by 1am. So I waited and waited and waited... it was a little bit scary, I was alone on a dark quiet street. Anyways, when Chris and Sue arrived, he took out the spare, and the whatchamacallit to loosen the bolts but couldn't find the jack. I ask you, what kind of guy doesn't have a jack in the car?! My guy, that's who! Of all the guys I could have chosen, I had to pick the one who was almost completely useless with cars - the only person more useless is me, but then again, I'm not a guy, it's not my prerogative (woohoo, I finally get to use that word!).

Oh, but didn't Sue drive him out? Wouldn't she have a jack in her car, you ask? Why yes, she did have a jack in the car. In fact, it was a brand new jack, never before used, and last night would've been the perfect time to test it out - but useless car people that the 3 of us were, we just couldn't figure out how to take it out of the car... keep in mind, it was nearly 1:30am, it was dark, we didn't have a torch, I had been up since 9am, I was tired, Sue was tired, and Chris... well... no excuses for Chris he'd had a sleep. We were just useless. Changing a tyre wouldn't have taken him long, but without a jack we couldn't do anything! So we called RACV... waited for nearly an hour before the nice man arrived. It took him 5 mins, including pumping up the spare tyre for us to get us on our way. *sigh* I just can't believe Chris' car didn't have a jack...

Anyways, by this time it was around 2:30am and I was no longer tired, so what the hell, we were out late on a Saturday night, I was dressed up, we might as well go somewhere for a midnight snack. Down to St Kilda we go! Of course at 3am, nearly everything was closed, but the good thing was there were stacks of street parking at this time of night :) We ended up getting McDonald's and parked in a romantic spot by the beach to woof it all down before laughing ourselves silly and heading home.

Chris being Chris, took a wrong turn in St Kilda and we missed the turnoff to take us the direct way to the Westgate so whatever, I decided rather than try to do a u-turn, we'll just take the scenic route home, through Port Melbourne, South Melbourne, Beacon Cove or whatever trendy suburb it was down that part of town. The thing is, I almost always get lost around this area, and it being nearly 4am and me having been awake for almost 19 hours by now it probably wasn't the wisest decision I've ever made. Quoting that show I watched just the other day, no good decisions were ever made past 2am. How true, how very very true!

Surprise surprise, we didn't get lost! But fate has funny things for us.... we managed to make it to the entrance of the Westgate without getting lost but it was CLOSED!

The Westgate was CLOSED! It almost never closes! I only remember it being closed twice in my lifetime, the first time in year 8, when that guy threatened to jump but didn't. The second time when the guy was holding up the servo about 3 years ago. They were major incidences, so what on earth was happening at 4am on a Saturday night to have caused the Westgate to be closed?! It was blocked by a flashing police car and we were forced to take the long way home via Footscray. By this stage, I'm almost laughing hysterically. Things like this can only happen to us.

Aiyaya, ok... we made it home just past 4am and straight to bed we fell and slept like logs we did.

This morning when we woke, I was telling Kent about our night and how I think I must've hit a kerb cos it wasn't just a flat tyre, the tyre was somewhat torn (great news, it means I have to get Chris a new tyre :( I mean, I don't remember hitting a kerb... you would think that if I hit a kerb I'd know.... or perhaps I was more tired than I realised and didn't even know that I hit a kerb when I hit it or that my driving is so terribly bad that I'm just plain stupid and ignorant to the fact that I hit a kerb at all. Whatever the reason, ultimately I did cause it.

So we went to inspect the damage, and sure enough, major tear in the tyre. Unsalvageable. New tyre for Chris. Great. And Kent was telling me that judging by the marks on the broken wheel, it certainly looks like I hit a kerb. Double great. My poor driving skills are now cemented in everybody's memories.

Oh yeah, and guess what? Kent found a jack in Chris' car! What a doofus we were. Oh yeah, and Kent showed us how to remove the jack from Margaret's car as well. Double major DOOFUS! I should've called Kent in the first place.

What a fun night. We should do it more often.