I'm not feeling all that great right now, so I figured a good way to get over it is to continue my happy list - the one I started in June last year.....
I got to 36 last time (with some help), so to remind myself - the next 14 things that make me happy and lucky to be the person that I am:
37. Watching Taxi "talk" to my parents, it never fails to make me laugh.
38. Getting all my footy tips right, and seeing my name at the top of the ladder cos it ain't gonna happen again in a long long long looooong time.
39. A good hair day
40. The feeling and smell of fresh and clean hair
41. Having people fuss and fawn over me
42. Going for a long quiet walk to clear my head and release endorphins
43. Indoor rock-climbing
44. Snuggling up to a loved one on the couch while watching tv
45. Cuddles
46. People who remember what I say to them (because half the time I certainly don't remember)
47. Falling asleep in the arms of someone special
48. Holidays, preferably ones where I get to travel somewhere
49. Knowing that a lot of people care and worry about me
50. Roast potatoes
Roast potatoes? Gees.... how lame... just shows how much I struggled to get to 50, how the hell am I gonna get to 100?!?!?
So, do I feel better?
Yes, marginally.... I think I will go for a long quiet walk to clear my head and release some endorphins now. That might help.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
The edibles
No chocolates... yet, and Easter is nearly over!
I've surprised myself how good I have been, if you can see me now I have a big toothy grin plastered across my face - no chocolates for nearly 10 days! I almost feel like a new person...
But of course, temptation is merely sitting right on my desk, metres from where I sleep, there's a few choccie eggs waiting, just sitting there teasing me, tempting me to eat them. What to do? Can I hold out until the weekend? I think I shall try to continue to resist!
Moving away from chocolate, this is what I had for dinner last night. A very pretty looking seafood risotto. It certainly looked tasty, and it cost like it should be tasty......
but reality was, it failed to excite my rather easily excitable palate - and I don't ask for much, I'm very easily satisfied, so surely it can't be that difficult to make food look good, taste great but doesn't cost the earth. Sadly, this dish really only satisfied one of those criteria....
Mind you, it wasn't terrible, I still ate everything, I just didn't end up licking the plate, it just was not memorable. The seafood risotto I had in Collingwood last year was one fine (and I mean lip-smackingly good) dish and to this day I am still reminiscing. By far, one of the best risottos I've ever had the joy to devour. Pity I don't remember the name of the restaurant....
After our feast, we decided to leave the restaurant to go somewhere more affordable and came across some gorgeous-looking lemon meringue tarts - heheh, a couple of tarts for a couple of tarts :Þ
No photos of the tarts, we were a little bit hasty in eating them. Erm, tarts of the lemon meringue variety that is, but no photos of us tarts either and trust me, they were absolutely SCRUMPTIOUS! (and so were the lemon meringue variety ;)
Righto, that's enough about food... I think I've put on a few more kilos just thinking about eating :(
Oh, and sorry for calling you a tart, dear :)
I've surprised myself how good I have been, if you can see me now I have a big toothy grin plastered across my face - no chocolates for nearly 10 days! I almost feel like a new person...
But of course, temptation is merely sitting right on my desk, metres from where I sleep, there's a few choccie eggs waiting, just sitting there teasing me, tempting me to eat them. What to do? Can I hold out until the weekend? I think I shall try to continue to resist!
Moving away from chocolate, this is what I had for dinner last night. A very pretty looking seafood risotto. It certainly looked tasty, and it cost like it should be tasty......
but reality was, it failed to excite my rather easily excitable palate - and I don't ask for much, I'm very easily satisfied, so surely it can't be that difficult to make food look good, taste great but doesn't cost the earth. Sadly, this dish really only satisfied one of those criteria....
Mind you, it wasn't terrible, I still ate everything, I just didn't end up licking the plate, it just was not memorable. The seafood risotto I had in Collingwood last year was one fine (and I mean lip-smackingly good) dish and to this day I am still reminiscing. By far, one of the best risottos I've ever had the joy to devour. Pity I don't remember the name of the restaurant....
After our feast, we decided to leave the restaurant to go somewhere more affordable and came across some gorgeous-looking lemon meringue tarts - heheh, a couple of tarts for a couple of tarts :Þ
No photos of the tarts, we were a little bit hasty in eating them. Erm, tarts of the lemon meringue variety that is, but no photos of us tarts either and trust me, they were absolutely SCRUMPTIOUS! (and so were the lemon meringue variety ;)
Righto, that's enough about food... I think I've put on a few more kilos just thinking about eating :(
Oh, and sorry for calling you a tart, dear :)
Saturday, March 22, 2008
A bit of this and a bit of that
Well, it's been a rather slow few weeks since my lost post. Things that have happened:
I started my spanish classes, and so far so good. Turns out, I remember a whole lot more from the last time I learnt spanish than I give myself credit for! (ah, be, ce, che, de, e, efe, heh, acheh, ee, hota)
I caught up with some of my girlfriends from high school and had a great time chatting and just getting to know them again and remembering how we used to be. Yup, it was quite nice to do that. Really don't know why we don't do it more often. Even though two of them are getting married at the end of this year and so most of the talk centred around getting married, weddings, buying houses, having kids etc... *sigh* I'm just not ready for that kind of conversation yet.
Work is going fine, not very exciting stuff but pleasant enough. There is a lot of work to do, and each morning I have a stack of work piled onto my desk waiting for me... but typical efficient me, I go through it much faster than people expect me to and so by the afternoon, I really don't have much else to do other than wait... and wait... and wait.... either for more work or for home time. I really miss MSN.
I think the people there truly believe that the work that they do is really difficult whereas in actual fact, it's not difficult at all, there just so happens to be A LOT of it do.... I'm not sure why everyone is so surprised I've "picked it up so quickly" - I mean COME ON PEOPLE, it's not brain surgery or rocket science, and any old monkey can do the job. (okies, nuff gripes, the work is pleasant, it really is!)
Oh, one of my friends asked me to be her bride's maid! ME! A bride's maid! THE bride's maid, she's only having one. It took me by surprise, I honestly didn't expect it at all. Shocked and surprised but happily surprised. I'm not exactly sure what I need to do.... but oh well, gotta do something new and try something different :)
And one of my other friends tried to set me up with one of her single male friends. Umm... right.... ok.... hmm, how do I get outta this? umm... can't make it, sorry, have something to do... like, umm... yeah, I gotta stay home and watch tv? :Þ heheh, such lies....
Truth is, I'm just not quite ready for it yet.
I have a lot of "fixing" to do right now, and a lot of 'things' to work through and sort out in my head first.
Well, that's that. It's Easter and I have yet to eat any chocolates let alone chocolate eggs. I'm pretty proud of myself so far but I think I will succumb by Monday. We'll see...
Happy Easter peeps.
I started my spanish classes, and so far so good. Turns out, I remember a whole lot more from the last time I learnt spanish than I give myself credit for! (ah, be, ce, che, de, e, efe, heh, acheh, ee, hota)
I caught up with some of my girlfriends from high school and had a great time chatting and just getting to know them again and remembering how we used to be. Yup, it was quite nice to do that. Really don't know why we don't do it more often. Even though two of them are getting married at the end of this year and so most of the talk centred around getting married, weddings, buying houses, having kids etc... *sigh* I'm just not ready for that kind of conversation yet.
Work is going fine, not very exciting stuff but pleasant enough. There is a lot of work to do, and each morning I have a stack of work piled onto my desk waiting for me... but typical efficient me, I go through it much faster than people expect me to and so by the afternoon, I really don't have much else to do other than wait... and wait... and wait.... either for more work or for home time. I really miss MSN.
I think the people there truly believe that the work that they do is really difficult whereas in actual fact, it's not difficult at all, there just so happens to be A LOT of it do.... I'm not sure why everyone is so surprised I've "picked it up so quickly" - I mean COME ON PEOPLE, it's not brain surgery or rocket science, and any old monkey can do the job. (okies, nuff gripes, the work is pleasant, it really is!)
Oh, one of my friends asked me to be her bride's maid! ME! A bride's maid! THE bride's maid, she's only having one. It took me by surprise, I honestly didn't expect it at all. Shocked and surprised but happily surprised. I'm not exactly sure what I need to do.... but oh well, gotta do something new and try something different :)
And one of my other friends tried to set me up with one of her single male friends. Umm... right.... ok.... hmm, how do I get outta this? umm... can't make it, sorry, have something to do... like, umm... yeah, I gotta stay home and watch tv? :Þ heheh, such lies....
Truth is, I'm just not quite ready for it yet.
I have a lot of "fixing" to do right now, and a lot of 'things' to work through and sort out in my head first.
Well, that's that. It's Easter and I have yet to eat any chocolates let alone chocolate eggs. I'm pretty proud of myself so far but I think I will succumb by Monday. We'll see...
Happy Easter peeps.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
It's only my third day
My third day in my new job and I’m knackered, not physically exhausted but mentally buggered… there’s so much information to take in. So many procedures and so many steps to do things and so much to remember! I know they don’t expect me to really fully understand all of it for some time but boy, firms like this just deal in information, it’s all they have and now I have to remember where all this information goes! The work itself is not difficult, actually is rather easy… so as long as everything works (you know, things like the computer, databases, access to databases, internet…) and as long as I remember what to do with each piece of information, then I should be a-o-k…. in the meantime, I just have to take it step-by-step.
It’s good to see that things just work around here (in the very short 3 days that I have been here), as opposed to my last job where you know that things CAN and WILL work if only I had the ‘right approval’ to get it. If only I didn’t have to go through so many people just to get this approval. If only I just had access to it… if only… if only… Here, if I wanted to install a program onto my computer, all I have to do is click on an icon, select the program and click ok. I don’t need approval, I don’t need to ask anyone, IT dept do not need to help me and it’s absolutely foolproof. And if I do have an IT problem, the staff do not necessarily have to physically come to my desk, they will try to work things out for me remotely. They have the ability to operate my computer remotely! You have no idea how bizarre it is to see your mouse moving around the screen seemingly by itself, completely possessed because I am definitely not doing it.
You really don't need to do much to impress me - I am so easy! :)
Aside from learning new things, it feels really strange to be the one person that doesn’t know anything and having to learn everything all over from scratch again. It feels so bizarre to not be the ‘go-to’ person for things. It feels weird to see somebody else be the ‘go-to’ person and I feel a little bit lost (not just because I’m the new girl…). At least this time round I have 4 other people I can turn to for help when I need it and unlike the last time where I was alone and just left to my own devices for the first few weeks – now THAT was tough! It kind of went something like this… “Here’s your office, here’s your computer, sorry this place is such a mess, and umm… sorry there’s nobody around to tell you anything whatsoever, good luck! See ya later.” Now, I’d like to see you try making friends after that kind of induction!
Anyways, I’m deviating now, the point I’m trying to make is, I like being needed, I want to feel wanted so it feels strange to not be needed by anyone anymore. Not just yet, but give me a few months and I’ll make myself indispensable! :)
*sigh* It’s gonna be a long and boring 12 months though… I’ll be looking at tax returns every single bloody day for the next 12 months, I’m gonna have tax returns coming out of my ears and considering I’m one of the many who avoid doing their tax returns until the very very utmost last minute, this job might actually bore me to death… besides, it depresses me seeing how many people earn so much more than me, and it’s even more depressing seeing that some pay more tax and/ or get a bigger tax return than my entire annual salary *extra big double sigh*
BUT – there will be one thing I won’t and can’t complain about anymore and that is, I will not be bored doing nothing. I will definitely not be doing nothing.
I must admit that over the last three days, I have questioned whether I have made the right decision. What have I got myself into? Should I have given up my perfectly ok job for this very quiet mad-house? Do I want a perfectly ok job for the rest of my life? And I guess, I keep coming back to the same answer… I will never be satisfied with a perfectly ok job, I will end up depressed and miserable and that’s why I need an absolutely awesome job, one that I will never get bored of. Now, the only thing to do is to find out what an absolutely awesome job is… and how will my new job help me get there?
Saturday, March 01, 2008
When reality sets in
Today; the day after my last day at work....
It was a sad day for me, and embarrassingly it showed. I was an awful blubbering mess... I have somehow, over the years lost the ability to control my emotions. I don't remember ever being such an emotional cry-baby when I was younger, I do remember being quite a tough cookie, so I don't know where that girl went.
Anyway, even though I had been preparing for it for weeks beforehand, I don't think I really believed that I was going - not until I woke up this morning did it really hit me that I won't be working at Union House again. It's an awful feeling to wake up to, hard to explain. I wandered around the house a little bit listless for awhile, not sure what I need to do. So to get my mind off things, I tidied my room, I emptied my bag, I did the dishes, I took Taxi for a walk, and I sent some final work-related emails, things I had forgotten to do or didn't have time to.... I'm concerned for my kids, but I know they're in good hands and they have good support, so they will be fine.
I know that I've made the right decision, whether or not I enjoy my new work, I have made the right move but I think I'll just miss it - the whole thing, I'm not exactly sure what I'll miss most, the beautiful people I worked with? My office? My lounge? Being able to wear casual clothes to work? Doing things my way in my own time ? Lunches & giggles with Marisa? Deep and meaningfuls (and some not so deep and not so meaningfuls) with Alex? Everything, I'll miss everything. Sorry I lied, I won't miss everything, I will not miss the toilets!
Good thing is, I haven't given myself much time to dwell on it, I start work on Monday so I only have the weekend to mope and bawl, and the other good thing is, there's nobody at home this weekend so I can mope and bawl as much as I like without any questions from the nosy parents.
It has been a topsy turvy few months for me and I've shed a few good tears, I've experienced some awesome amazing times but also some low low times, and some times of extreme loneliness so hopefully after this week will be a change in the road. Something different, something new and hopefully, something exciting :)
I give myself one more night.
After tomorrow, I will be ready.
It was a sad day for me, and embarrassingly it showed. I was an awful blubbering mess... I have somehow, over the years lost the ability to control my emotions. I don't remember ever being such an emotional cry-baby when I was younger, I do remember being quite a tough cookie, so I don't know where that girl went.
Anyway, even though I had been preparing for it for weeks beforehand, I don't think I really believed that I was going - not until I woke up this morning did it really hit me that I won't be working at Union House again. It's an awful feeling to wake up to, hard to explain. I wandered around the house a little bit listless for awhile, not sure what I need to do. So to get my mind off things, I tidied my room, I emptied my bag, I did the dishes, I took Taxi for a walk, and I sent some final work-related emails, things I had forgotten to do or didn't have time to.... I'm concerned for my kids, but I know they're in good hands and they have good support, so they will be fine.
I know that I've made the right decision, whether or not I enjoy my new work, I have made the right move but I think I'll just miss it - the whole thing, I'm not exactly sure what I'll miss most, the beautiful people I worked with? My office? My lounge? Being able to wear casual clothes to work? Doing things my way in my own time ? Lunches & giggles with Marisa? Deep and meaningfuls (and some not so deep and not so meaningfuls) with Alex? Everything, I'll miss everything. Sorry I lied, I won't miss everything, I will not miss the toilets!
Good thing is, I haven't given myself much time to dwell on it, I start work on Monday so I only have the weekend to mope and bawl, and the other good thing is, there's nobody at home this weekend so I can mope and bawl as much as I like without any questions from the nosy parents.
It has been a topsy turvy few months for me and I've shed a few good tears, I've experienced some awesome amazing times but also some low low times, and some times of extreme loneliness so hopefully after this week will be a change in the road. Something different, something new and hopefully, something exciting :)
I give myself one more night.
After tomorrow, I will be ready.
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