What an awesome day.
This was one of those days when it just passed too quickly.
Slept in a little bit, drove down to the peninsula to have a lovely lunch at Max's at Red Hill Estate. Then off to Peninsula Hot Springs for a soak in a hot spring then a relaxing massage, then back to Carlton for perfect pizza for Supper. All the while, lots of laughs and lots of giggles and lots of funny stories. Such is life. Sometimes it's just nice like today.
That's one less day for 2008, will this year hurry up and leave my life now?
My sister asked me last night what I was doing for NYE... well... nothing, to be perfectly honest.
Her response? "yeah, I'm not sure what I'm doing either..."
My response to that? "Oh, I know what I'm doing. I'm doing nothing"
An honest answer, tinged with a touched of tragic about it. Truth is, I don't want to do nothing, but the most likely scenario is I will end up doing nothing because everybody has plans, and those plans will be with someone else and those plans aren't going to include me and that someone else is not going to be me.
But, I would rather do nothing than what I did last NYE. If I could help it, I will not want to live through last NYE again in my lifetime.
Just 11 more painfully slow days to go....
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
12 months today
365 days ago, 9th December, 2007. It was a Sunday. We just celebrated an early Christmas. It was a hot day. The Westgate was blocked off to traffic completely so we knew something big had happened. We had to take a detour to get home. Rather than go straight home, we went to get an ice cream because it was a hot Summer's day. Turns out, four kids ran their car into a tree just off the Westgate. The headlines the next day read "Four youths die in Westgate Freeway Fireball"
This piece of news story runs for over a week in the media, discussions about young drivers and speed and alcohol and drugs are tossed about....
The tree involved is still black from the crash, a full 12 months later. Flowers and memories still turn up at the site to this day. I don't personally know the 4 young men who died that day, and I don't particularly care any more or any less about these 4 strangers than anybody else who I may never in my lifetime meet. Their faces are just a blur to me now, so why do I remember so much of this?
Because on that very same day, the worse year of my life began.
I don't want to admit to it, but reality is I have been waiting for this year to be over. Counting down each month, each week, each day, each hour, each minute. On my good days, time has passed really quickly, on my bad days it almost seems like those days never end.
For a few weeks now, I've dreaded today, I wasn't sure how I might cope. In the end, it wasn't too bad. I made it through the day at work, I started out putting on a "good" face and by the end of the day, I did feel somewhat ok.
I think the weather helped. It could not be a bigger contrast to this time last year. Cold, wet, miserable, as if someone above had wanted to share some of this load with me. I like to think whoever is looking out for me made the sky cry so that I didn't have to.
I got an unexpected call from a friend today. She called me at work. We chatted for almost an hour. She'll be gone in a few days so I won't get to talk to her anytime I want to anymore. I did cherish every word spoken because the Lord knows that I really needed someone to talk to at that very moment.
My friend, she's had a tough year. Physically and mentally, it was tough for her. She's had a tough few years due to illness and stress. Whereas it was nothing like that for me. No, for me it was all tough mentally and emotionally. 2008 was a bad year to get through for me. However, for all the self-pity I harbour, I know I'm in a much better position than most other people. I know there is definitely someone above watching over me. I truly believe that. I just need to get better now and only I can make that happen.
I just can't wait for this stupid year to be over.
This piece of news story runs for over a week in the media, discussions about young drivers and speed and alcohol and drugs are tossed about....
The tree involved is still black from the crash, a full 12 months later. Flowers and memories still turn up at the site to this day. I don't personally know the 4 young men who died that day, and I don't particularly care any more or any less about these 4 strangers than anybody else who I may never in my lifetime meet. Their faces are just a blur to me now, so why do I remember so much of this?
Because on that very same day, the worse year of my life began.
I don't want to admit to it, but reality is I have been waiting for this year to be over. Counting down each month, each week, each day, each hour, each minute. On my good days, time has passed really quickly, on my bad days it almost seems like those days never end.
For a few weeks now, I've dreaded today, I wasn't sure how I might cope. In the end, it wasn't too bad. I made it through the day at work, I started out putting on a "good" face and by the end of the day, I did feel somewhat ok.
I think the weather helped. It could not be a bigger contrast to this time last year. Cold, wet, miserable, as if someone above had wanted to share some of this load with me. I like to think whoever is looking out for me made the sky cry so that I didn't have to.
I got an unexpected call from a friend today. She called me at work. We chatted for almost an hour. She'll be gone in a few days so I won't get to talk to her anytime I want to anymore. I did cherish every word spoken because the Lord knows that I really needed someone to talk to at that very moment.
My friend, she's had a tough year. Physically and mentally, it was tough for her. She's had a tough few years due to illness and stress. Whereas it was nothing like that for me. No, for me it was all tough mentally and emotionally. 2008 was a bad year to get through for me. However, for all the self-pity I harbour, I know I'm in a much better position than most other people. I know there is definitely someone above watching over me. I truly believe that. I just need to get better now and only I can make that happen.
I just can't wait for this stupid year to be over.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Life's randomness
I'm a little bit happy this week.
I got not one but TWO beautiful little masks for $3.50 each!
What are the masks for you ask? Well, work's Christmas party theme this year is Venetian Masquerade Ball, so we're all encouraged to wear masks :)
The ones they were selling at work cost anything from $20 onwards... just too pricey for something I'll only wear once. So I bought 2 for $7....
But, buying some masks is not enough to make me a little bit happy, I also got a free pair of shoes from work today. Yup, funny story that...
We were going through the cupboards looking for Christmas decorations when we came across a pair of stilettos that apparently nobody owned but were still relatively new, even looked like they were never worn before. And because my feet were the only ones to fit into it, I got to take it home. Woo hoo! Free shoes, bring it on!
I felt like Cinderella, only my feet fit into them :)
Except, it wasn't my Prince Charming who fitted them onto my feet.... *sigh* oh well, still waiting.
And the 3rd thing to make me so little bit happy this week is that not one but 2 people have made a comment about me losing weight. That's always nice :)
To be perfectly honest, I haven't actually lost any "weight" as such, I still weigh the same as I have for the longest time that I can remember, but I have lost a fair bit of fat, and now my clothes are starting to hang off me. I didn't realise I had put on so much "fat" until people start to notice that you look thinner... still a little way to go to tone up a bit more, but at least I know I'm well and truly on the right track now.
I have a learnt a valuable lesson, being miserable apparently is good for weight loss.
Must try to avoid happiness until I reach my goals.
I got not one but TWO beautiful little masks for $3.50 each!
What are the masks for you ask? Well, work's Christmas party theme this year is Venetian Masquerade Ball, so we're all encouraged to wear masks :)
The ones they were selling at work cost anything from $20 onwards... just too pricey for something I'll only wear once. So I bought 2 for $7....
But, buying some masks is not enough to make me a little bit happy, I also got a free pair of shoes from work today. Yup, funny story that...
We were going through the cupboards looking for Christmas decorations when we came across a pair of stilettos that apparently nobody owned but were still relatively new, even looked like they were never worn before. And because my feet were the only ones to fit into it, I got to take it home. Woo hoo! Free shoes, bring it on!
I felt like Cinderella, only my feet fit into them :)
Except, it wasn't my Prince Charming who fitted them onto my feet.... *sigh* oh well, still waiting.
And the 3rd thing to make me so little bit happy this week is that not one but 2 people have made a comment about me losing weight. That's always nice :)
To be perfectly honest, I haven't actually lost any "weight" as such, I still weigh the same as I have for the longest time that I can remember, but I have lost a fair bit of fat, and now my clothes are starting to hang off me. I didn't realise I had put on so much "fat" until people start to notice that you look thinner... still a little way to go to tone up a bit more, but at least I know I'm well and truly on the right track now.
I have a learnt a valuable lesson, being miserable apparently is good for weight loss.
Must try to avoid happiness until I reach my goals.
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