Sorry for feeling sorry

It’s 5 degrees outside tonight, but it feels twice as cold inside and I’m balled up in the corner of the couch, motionless, whiling away the hours trying to keep myself warm.

It’s a low point in time, as I sit at home alone, no job, no man, no friends, no money and no hobby, just trying to be invisible.

Until I learn of the death of Daniel. Brave brave Daniel, an amazing and inspiring young kid. Faced with something he had no control over, he fought it with such determination and an awesome positive energy that most adults would find difficult to match.

If I had been put into his boots, I would’ve taken the weaker path. I would be devastated and crushed and I’d have been very angry with the world. I’d have made life extremely difficult for the people around me because I would feel that if I can’t be healthy and happy, then it would only be fair that nobody else has the right to be healthy or happy either. That would be me. It’s all about me. Selfish me.

Daniel took the more courageous path. He didn’t want his parents and friends to be sad for him. He had dreams. He had goals. He just wanted to live, but he ran out of time.

“Time is all I own…” hour after endless hour I sit around like a sorry lump of sad sack waiting for something to happen, pretending not to exist and now I feel guilty. It’s like I have stolen the time that Daniel had cherished so much because his time was limited.

Sometimes, life is unfair. There should be more people like Daniel around. People like Daniel make a difference to our lives. As cliche as it may sound, they make this world a better place, but I guess God had bigger plans for him and needed him back sooner.

Sometimes we focus so much on the little things in life that don’t really matter and we struggle, but life shouldn’t be a struggle. Life should be embraced!

I’m sorry Daniel. I’m not sure I understand why I, or anybody else, deserves to be here more than you, but if there is a purpose for your loss, one of them is probably to stop me focusing on the little things that don’t matter and I promise I won’t waste the time I have stolen from you.



R.I.P. kiddo