10 years on

10 years ago I wrote this:



She said I was a sad person
I can see why now
I’m thinking too much
And unhappy with where I am

She said I was a sad person
That she could see it in my eyes
I understand her now
I couldn’t see it then
But I understand it now

Through my eyes, she sensed my loneliness
She could see the frustration, building up in my mind
She feels the lines of inadequacy bombarding my every move
In every minute of my day, she could see the tiredness, the boredom, the inadequacy, loneliness and guilt dragging its ugly arms and legs around me as I carry on as if I have not a care in the world

I like being like this
I enjoy the pain that you inflict
I write this in frustration knowing that you will never understand or want to understand


10 years on and I haven’t really progressed very far…
But I have to wonder, who on earth was I writing about and what the bejeezus was going on in my head at the time?